3 Months Old!

Boy, I wasn’t sure we’d make it this far. :-) I think “roller coaster” is too mild a phrase for the up and down we’ve been on. I had no idea it could be so difficult just to keep a little baby alive. Some days I feel like that’s all I do. With all of Sara’s feeding and weight problems, it’s been more than a full-time job just to keep her full. I remember early on, in the first few weeks, feeling like there was something wrong with either me or my baby because I just couldn’t make her happy it seemed like – she seemed to always need to eat. It was probably 10 weeks before we realized that the problem was just that, even though she was nursing constantly, she wasn’t getting full. She was screaming because she was hungry! It was so sad to see her, fifteen minutes after eating, lying there screaming, clawing at her face, and chewing on her fist. At that point, I knew I couldn’t let her go on like that, so I decided we’d give her some formula. Just giving her 2-4 ounces per day has made the difference in her gaining from a couple of ounces a week, to a pound every two weeks.

We’re still working on the tongue tie thing. We went to the MD on Monday that Carla recommended, who referred us on to Dr. Cashman, an ENT, who will evaluate her on Thursday to see if she is truly a good candidate for clipping. We’re finally reaching the end of this long process! I can’t believe it’s taken three months to discover the problem, one that’s fairly common even. And the pediatrician, though kind, was no help. He and the lactation consultant there simply wanted to make sure Sara was gaining weight, and as long as she was, they didn’t seem to really care if it was from breastfeeding or not. And the staff was actually unfriendly. So we don’t plan to go back. The most help I’ve gotten was from the La Leche League, and from Jessica’s sister-in-law (through Jessica). The leader of the LLL is Kathy Freeman, the lactation consultant at Washington Regional, and she’s the one who actually “diagnosed” Sara with tongue tie. She was extremely kind and just wanted to help us, whatever it took.

But it certainly has not been all trials! She’s nine pounds now, so she’s getting stronger, and when she hit that magic 8-pound mark, she started sleeping through the night. I went from getting 1-2 hours of sleep at a time to getting 7-8 hours a time – literally overnight. She now sleeps from about 10:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. every night, sometimes even more. And she smiles! God certainly knew what He was doing when He made babies. He makes their cries so horrible that you are willing to drop what you are doing and do whatever it takes to make it stop, and He makes their smiles so sweet that you forget about the hard stuff. And He makes them so cute and cuddly that they’re sure to get held a lot! It’s so fun when I come back in the room where she is and get down to smile at her and talk to her, and she starts grinning and kicking and waving her arms with excitement. Sometimes when I’m talking to her and she’s looking up at me, grinning and watching my face intently, and trying out little baby noises in return, my eyes get teary because it amazes me how much I love her. I’m quite sure that “ah-goo” means “I love you, Mama!” :-)

Even though she’s small, she’s not behind on any of her milestones. Her first “social” smile was at 6 weeks, and now at 3 months, she’s already rolled over 3 times. No laughing yet, but I can tell she’s close. Zack and I sure do love her like crazy! It’s hard to think back and remember what it was like before her, even though it was such a short time ago in the grand scheme of things. Our lives are definitely changed and not our own anymore, but we’re already excited to see who God will add to our family in the future!