Night Night!

Sara loves her bedtime routine. She is really a great sleeper. Each night at 9:00ish, she gets her pajamas on, then she gets her teeth brushed (to us singing, "This is the way we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, brush our teeth," etc.). Then Zack and I both go into her room with her and hold her while we sing her favorite lullaby -- "Silent Night." :-) The best part is that she sings with us. Hopefully while we're in Amarillo this week, we can get a video of it. It's too cute!

Here she is in her pj's, ready for bed.

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Parenting isn't for Sissies

WARNING: Only mothers, doctors, nurses, and coroners should read this story. All others are likely to be offended and/or get sick. If you don't like knowing too much, then stop reading now! :-)

Oh my goodness, y'all are not going to believe what happened today. First of all, my poor baby (who is 9 months old today!) has been having so much trouble with constipation ever since she weaned herself about 3 weeks ago. So I've been helping her out. How, you ask? First of all by giving her prune juice every day. I figure it's gotta help! And then, when I see that she is straining to pass something (and it's very sad and pitiful, let me tell you), I immediately grab her up and rush her to the changing table where I strip her diaper off and proceed to push her legs toward her chest and spread her little rump cheeks apart to allow for easier passage.

Well... No more.

Today, I heard the whimper and looked down to see her crouched on all fours in her "poop position," so I quickly grabbed her and ran her to the table where I could "assist." Ok, now, here's where it gets graphic.

Lying on her back on the table, Sara is about chest height; so I was leaned over a little bit, pushing the underside of her thighs (which were facing me) towards her chest. Poor, poor baby -- she was grunting and pushing and screaming like a woman in labor, and I, just like any good coach, was soothing and encouraging her. "Come on, baby, you can do it! That's my girl, push it on out. Oooooh, I'm sooo sorry, baby girl! That's it!" My skills rivaled the best doula, I'm sure. [GRAPHIC WARNING] I continued to coo and sooth as she strained and pushed out little turds, when suddenly, I heard what I thought was our water pipes bursting, and tasted ... yes ... tasted a mouthful of poop!!! OOOH it was awful! You know how you always hear people say, "Those baby food green beans look just like baby poop." And then you try them and think, "Nasty -- they taste just like baby poop too!" Well, I'm here to tell you -- they taste like chocolate cream pie with whipped cream compared to the real thing.

And it wasn't just my mouth. ("just".... ha!) It was all in my hair, all over the door behind me, the wall next to her changing pad, the floor -- everywhere!!! It looked like we'd been having mud fights. I stood in utter shock and horror for a full minute, willing my brain to come up with a plan. I was covered in poop, the room smelled like a neglected animal shelter, and Sara was struggling to roll off her changing pad and spread the damage further.

But, like the truly converted Blake that I am, I decided, step #1 was pictures. So I put the changing pad (with Sara still on it) on the floor and ran and grabbed the camera. I knew that no one would believe me when I said how horrible it was if I didn't have proof. Then it was into the shower for both of us (I had a huge pile of baby doo to get out of my hair, not to mention my eyes... mouth... ears... ewwwww!), and off to bed with Sara so I could scrub and disinfect the entire war zone.

Well, there is one bright side to the whole episode. At least Sara isn't constipated any more.

9 Months Old

Here's a slideshow of Sara from the last month. LOTS of new things happened this month! Crawling, pulling up, two new teeth. She sleeps 12 hours every night now! She's such a sweet baby, and it really is a joy to be her mama. I look forward to getting to know her better in the years to come! :-)

Crawling!

Here is a little video of Sara crawling! She just started Saturday for the first time, actually picking up hands and feet. She's been scooting for a while, but I'm sure my days of peace are numbered. :-)

8 Months - Pictures

To view the picture album, click on the slideshow.

Eight Months Old!

I know I say this every month, but I just can't believe it! I remember when Sara was born and hearing moms say, "Oh, my baby is eight months old," and thinking, What an old baby! And now, here we are. :-)

Sara sits perfectly, and is just days away from full-fledged crawling. She's been rocking for a couple of weeks now, and she drags her knees, but she hasn't figure out the hand-and-knee moving simultaneously yet. She pulls up on your fingers and stands, though no real steps or anything. One thing we've been working on this month is her neck, which she doesn't often hold up straight. My grandpa (a chiropractor) says that her top vertebra is out of place, so we've been going to him twice a week for adjustments. He said it's likely something that happened in childbirth and isn't a serious problem, but we do want to get it corrected before her muscles get too set. It seems to be gradually getting better, though when she's tired it's even more noticeable.

She weighs almost 17 pounds these days and is definitely getting more personality. Her favorite noises to make right now are grunts & squeals and simple sounds like "da-da-da-da" and gurgles. I love her Bumbo seat!! (You can see a picture below) It has been a life-saver for me. I bring it everywhere, and it even serves as her high chair for now, now that she's getting some solids.

She's SOOOO much fun these days. I just can't believe how much I love her!

4th of July

Sara in her Bumbo seat

Tooth!

I'm working over at Zack's grandma's house, and I just noticed that Sara has her first tooth peeking through!

7 Months pictures

If you are reading this in an email and would like to see the slideshow, please view the blog.

7 Months Later

Sara is SEVEN months old! BOY what a different life we have now from just a few months ago. Unbelievable difference really. She is now 16 pounds (that's a weight gain of 11 pounds so far -- and what an accomplishment too), and probably about 26 inches. She's a little chunker and SO much fun. She's just truly the joy of my life now, and though some days are hard, I wouldn't trade this for anything!

She's sitting up great now, for as long as she wants without falling over. She rolls over and over across the room (or off the bed... oops...!). She laughs some and smiles all the time. She is sleeping through the night most nights, which means 11:00 pm to 7:00 am most days. Which means I get sleep! In general, she's a much more pleasant baby now than she was a few months ago. No crawling yet, but she does push up on all fours sometimes. And no teeth! I was sure she was getting some based on her crankiness a few weeks ago, but nothing showed.

It really is phenomenal to see the difference in Sara in just 7 months. I'm so grateful that the hardest days (in some ways, I know!!) are over.

First Bowl of Cereal

Zack's mom got Sara a box of cereal, so we tried it out this morning. She didn't lunge at it like she did bananas the other day, but she did eat the whole bowl! ...and made quite a mess too :-)

First Taste

Sara has REALLY been going after any food I eat lately, so today I let
her taste a pickle (got that idea from Susan). And she LOVED it!!! She
kept reaching out and putting it back in her mouth to suck on it
whenever I'd take it away. Pretty soon she was drooling green. :-) She
was going after it so much I was afraid she'd break a piece off, so I
had to take it away, but it sure was cute!

Comforts

Sara loves to snuggle into our down comforter. She's definitely Annie's grandbaby. :-) Too bad for her it's getting warm and the comforter is going in the closet...

Easter

Easter this year was so cold! It was in the 20s when we left the house Easter morning, so naturally, Sara couldn't wear her original Easter dress. Instead she wore this one that is just as cute, even if it was a little bit big. :-) And her cute "trumpett" socks look like little shoes. Those were a present from her Aunt Willow. Who needs Easter bunnies when you have cute babies!

Rolling Over

I caught it on camera today. Here's Sara rolling over (or should I say, falling over!) :-) It's hard to keep her on her tummy these days! She rolls over pretty much every time I put her on her belly.

Reactions

We discovered today that Sara is allergic to goat milk.  She's been getting about 6-8 oz. per day consistently for about 2 weeks now.  I had noticed first of all that she seemed extra "gassy" and fussy with it.  Also, she's had a very persistent diaper rash that hasn't healed even though I've been slathering the creams on it!  I didn't make the connection, but Mom saw it today and said that it was the kind of rash babies get when they've eaten something they're allergic to.  And since the only other thing she eats is breastmilk (which she's had from day one!), it must be the goat milk.  And just in the last day since cutting the goat milk, her rash is already getting much better.  So, I guess the supplementing will have to go back to formula.

One day, Two milestones

Last night, Sara slept in her crib all night for the first time (she usually sleeps in her bassinet, or even with us).  She did wake up a couple of times, but I was able to pat her back and she fell right back asleep.  And I actually think that wasn't because of the crib, but because of her stuffy nose.

And just now, she laughed for the first time!  I was chewing on her cheek like I do sometimes, and she started laughing!  So I kept doing it, and she kept laughing.  Babies sure are fun.  :-)

Sniffles

Poor Sara has her first real cold.  I got one earlier this week, so she probably got it from me.  She's coughing and has a runny nose, and she was up every hour last night, and I think it was probably a sore throat waking her up (since that came with my cold too).  I guess there is a first time for everything.

More today...

The lactation consultant today said that she's pretty sure Sara needs to see an occupational therapist to train her to suck right. She discussed Sara's "case" with the LC from Willow Creek, who agreed. She said it's definitely a tongue problem that is holding her back. She also sent me home with a baby scale so I can weigh Sara before and after every feeding for 24 hours or so, just so we can get a better idea of how much she really is getting. She said that seeing a baby with problems like this is not that unusual -- except that they usually figure it out within a week or two! It is unusual for a baby to still be having such issues at four months old (honestly, I think it's probably just that it's uncommon for mothers of babies with these issues to still be breastfeeding, so you don't see older babies with these problems). She is very supportive of course, but she did ask me how I would feel if breastfeeding doesn't work out, which makes me wonder if she's not more pessimistic than she seemed. So, for the next 24 hours, I'll be weighing Sara before and after feedings. After that, I'll send Susan (the LC) the information, and we'll go from there!

4 Months Old!

I'm astonished as I look at the title of this post and realize that it's my baby that is four months old! It certainly has been a trip...

One thing that I can say about Sara is that she sleeps great! She's on a pretty consistent routine (when we're home), where she likes to get a good nap in the morning (about 2-3 hours), and a couple more 1-1.5 hour naps throughout the day. She then goes to bed for the night around 6:30pm. I wake her up between 9:30 and 10:30 to give her one last feeding, and then she usually sleeps until 5:30 or 6:00am. She'll take another feeding then and then go back to bed until 9:30 or 10:00. It's amazing how consistent she is when there's nothing to disrupt the schedule. And the best part is that we've mastered naptime where I can just put her down and she'll go to sleep on her own. It was definitely a long road getting there, but well worth it. Originally, I had to walk or nurse her to sleep and then gingerly put her down. At first, she would wake up pretty quickly (after 30 minutes or so), but she eventually got used to being in bed by herself and would sleep for longer and longer stretches. Then I started putting her down just when she'd be going to sleep and lie down with her and hold her hands until she was asleep. And now, she loves her bed so much that (if she's not overtired!) she sometimes actually sighs with contentment when I put her down and goes right to sleep! I know the feeling. :-) In some ways it's backfired a little bit though, because she usually doesn't sleep more than 30-45 minutes when I hold her now, which makes it very difficult when we're out for long periods of time. And actually, when I say "her bed," I should really say our bed. For now, she's still with me and Zack. My goal right now is to get her taking naps in her crib (she's actually been doing that for the past 2 days)...

...and then phase her into her crib at night. I'm not really sure if I'm going to be okay with that or not (I think I'll miss her at night!), but she's starting to get so squirmy in her sleep that I end up on the edge of the bed every night. So I guess we'll see what happens.

Still no laughing yet! She often looks as though she might rip one, but just gurgling and cooing for now. :-) She smiles just about anytime you smile at her (provided she's not cranky), and she's starting to consciously reach out and grab things. Before, she was just swinging her arms aimlessly, occasionally hitting objects, but now you can see her focus on something and actually reach out for it, and then grab on. And then, when she accomplishes her goal, she starts kicking with excitement. She's also much more interested in her hands than ever before. She can spend fifteen minutes just examining them!

She sure is cute! It would seem that her first nickname is "Critter." Zack calls her this pretty consistently, and it's even led to other phrases like, "It's Critter time!" and "You've been Crittered!" With Zack as her daddy I'm sure she'll have many more (and hopefully more feminine!).

I get more attached to her every day. Zack is really great about watching her for an hour (or three) and letting me go do errands or have fun, but it's amazing to me that as much as I want and need to get away, I always end up missing her still! I guess that's the way God intended it. :-)

Another day, another appointment

Sara and I went to see another lactation consultant this morning.  As of right now, she gets about 6-8 oz. per day of goat milk, with the rest of her nutrition from breastfeeding.  We're still having some pretty major issues.  The LC we saw this morning was Susan McWilliams, an IBCLC at Family Medical Center in Fayetteville.  She was referred to me by Abby Creech, who worked as a translator for her for several years.  She is a super nice lady, and definitely wants to help and seemed very knowledgeable.  She confirmed what the ENT, Dr. Cashman, said, that Sara is most definitely not tongue-tied, but that she does have a short tongue and short palette (not really sure what that means), and that she also has a "disorganized suck."  Now that she's seen Sara, she wants to think about a game plan tonight and wants us to come back tomorrow.  At that time, she'll also be loaning me a baby scale so that I can weigh Sara before and after feedings to see how much she's getting.  I have lots of hope still that this can work.  Maybe this is finally the end of our loooong road!!

Like Papa, like Critter

She's real cute! She's eating some goat milk now that we've accessed some through Aunt Tooty's friend, Audrey, who gives it to us for free. This last batch smells like a sweaty animal, and took some getting used to, but she appears to have become accustomed to it. In fact, I think she adjusted about the same speed as Papa... at first I didn't know if I could even keep it down... gradually though, its repulsive powers weakened with each bowl of cereal. Same thing happened for her, minus the cereal.

To get her to smile, go up to her and say inquisitively, "Love your Papa?????" I think she likes that word "Papa."

The schedule Lauren's got her on is really great- she's sleeping a lot, and is way more predictable as far as her moods.

What a sleeper!

I'm so grateful that Sara is sleeping well these days.  Last night (after a very long day...), she slept NINE hours!  And it was in her bassinet, which was even greater, since that meant Zack and I got to stretch out a little bit and not be so cramped.  It's amazing how such a little bitty person can take up so much room.  She's such a squirmer that when she sleeps with us, it never fails -- one of us ends up almost off the bed with her pressed right up against us.  ...which is sweet but not very practical long-term.  : )  Her naps are great too -- when we're home.  This week has been tough on her because our church had the Discipleship Conference and we were there from 1:00ish to 9:00pm every day.  I'm sure she'll be glad to be home today!  (I know I am...)

Feeding update

In this case, no news is not good news! Unfortunately, we have no more answers on Sara's feeding issues. Abby and Carla are trying to get me in touch with a lactation consultant that they are good friends with, so I'm hoping this will help. I'm pretty much giving up hope that Sara will ever be exclusively breastfed though. This past week we were able to obtain some raw goat milk from a friend of Zack's aunt, and Sara seems to be taking to it pretty well (though I'm wondering if it's actually hurting her tummy some... she seems to be extra gassy these past few days).

I figure I've done just about everything I can to make this happen, and if it doesn't end up working out, at least she was able to nurse for the first few months, which is the most crucial time. Who could have figured it'd be THIS hard!!!

Here is Sara trying out goat milk for the first time. :)

Hidden Feature

For those of you who have never noticed, on the right side of the blog under "Other Places," there is a link that says "Sara - Week by Week (A Timeline in Pictures)." Every Monday I've posted a picture (or two!) of Sara that week, so it's easy to see how she's changed over time!

Sara in Black & White

Click on the image to go to a slideshow

Clueless

We're still searching for answers to Sara's feeding problem.  Jessica Ballinger suggested some tongue "exercises" that might help, but I just feel like I'm shooting in the dark!  The most frustrating part is just that we can't figure out the problem.  I was telling Mom the other day that I just feel so helpless because other moms at least have the peace of mind of knowing that their baby is full and happy.  I never know that.  Even when Sara isn't screaming, I can't be sure that she's actually full.  The fact remains that without supplementing, she still only gains about 2 oz / week.  (She should gain about 1/2 lb per week!)

 

I've been going to practice for a play that I'm in and leaving Sara at home with Zack.  It's been working out great!  My practice starts at 7:00, and so far, she's slept the entire time I've been gone.  Boy, he has it easy. :)

Discouraging News...

Well, it's not tongue tie... We just left Dr. Cashman's office, and he said he didn't want to do the procedure because her tongue wasn't restricted enough. Back to square one!

You've Been Crittered!!!

On one hand I can't wait for her to get a little bigger so I can start playing with her more, but I'm also enjoying "the now." She's cute! Unfortunately our organic baby formula upsets her stomach - the other stuff is designed to be more digestible, but hopefully in a few days we'll be back to nature.

I give Lauren nasty-tasting vitamins every day, that hopefully will help Sara acquire a taste for good stuff that most kids don't like. If food is quality, I want her to grow up to like it - if she does, I can say from personal experience that it will be one of her favorite gifts. It's a gift to be able to find great pleasure in a wide variety of foods - a gift that can be cultivated, mind you, and more easily developed at the beginning than at mid-life. Plus, the more you enjoy things, the more thankful you stand to be. At my family's tables, we always rave about good food and how thankful and blessed we are to have it, and I want to give her a chance to enjoy it as much as a lot of her ancestors do :) Nasty-tasting pills for Lauren are the first step... I hope! (Fortunately you can swallow them whole :)

Lauren's being great with her.

3 Months Old!

Boy, I wasn’t sure we’d make it this far. :-) I think “roller coaster” is too mild a phrase for the up and down we’ve been on. I had no idea it could be so difficult just to keep a little baby alive. Some days I feel like that’s all I do. With all of Sara’s feeding and weight problems, it’s been more than a full-time job just to keep her full. I remember early on, in the first few weeks, feeling like there was something wrong with either me or my baby because I just couldn’t make her happy it seemed like – she seemed to always need to eat. It was probably 10 weeks before we realized that the problem was just that, even though she was nursing constantly, she wasn’t getting full. She was screaming because she was hungry! It was so sad to see her, fifteen minutes after eating, lying there screaming, clawing at her face, and chewing on her fist. At that point, I knew I couldn’t let her go on like that, so I decided we’d give her some formula. Just giving her 2-4 ounces per day has made the difference in her gaining from a couple of ounces a week, to a pound every two weeks.

We’re still working on the tongue tie thing. We went to the MD on Monday that Carla recommended, who referred us on to Dr. Cashman, an ENT, who will evaluate her on Thursday to see if she is truly a good candidate for clipping. We’re finally reaching the end of this long process! I can’t believe it’s taken three months to discover the problem, one that’s fairly common even. And the pediatrician, though kind, was no help. He and the lactation consultant there simply wanted to make sure Sara was gaining weight, and as long as she was, they didn’t seem to really care if it was from breastfeeding or not. And the staff was actually unfriendly. So we don’t plan to go back. The most help I’ve gotten was from the La Leche League, and from Jessica’s sister-in-law (through Jessica). The leader of the LLL is Kathy Freeman, the lactation consultant at Washington Regional, and she’s the one who actually “diagnosed” Sara with tongue tie. She was extremely kind and just wanted to help us, whatever it took.

But it certainly has not been all trials! She’s nine pounds now, so she’s getting stronger, and when she hit that magic 8-pound mark, she started sleeping through the night. I went from getting 1-2 hours of sleep at a time to getting 7-8 hours a time – literally overnight. She now sleeps from about 10:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. every night, sometimes even more. And she smiles! God certainly knew what He was doing when He made babies. He makes their cries so horrible that you are willing to drop what you are doing and do whatever it takes to make it stop, and He makes their smiles so sweet that you forget about the hard stuff. And He makes them so cute and cuddly that they’re sure to get held a lot! It’s so fun when I come back in the room where she is and get down to smile at her and talk to her, and she starts grinning and kicking and waving her arms with excitement. Sometimes when I’m talking to her and she’s looking up at me, grinning and watching my face intently, and trying out little baby noises in return, my eyes get teary because it amazes me how much I love her. I’m quite sure that “ah-goo” means “I love you, Mama!” :-)

Even though she’s small, she’s not behind on any of her milestones. Her first “social” smile was at 6 weeks, and now at 3 months, she’s already rolled over 3 times. No laughing yet, but I can tell she’s close. Zack and I sure do love her like crazy! It’s hard to think back and remember what it was like before her, even though it was such a short time ago in the grand scheme of things. Our lives are definitely changed and not our own anymore, but we’re already excited to see who God will add to our family in the future!

Sleep!

For the past 10 nights or so, Sara has slept through the night -- at least 5 hours at a time, and most nights around 7 hours (last night was 8)! I'm hoping this lasts. :)

Sara just rolled over!

True, it was more of a flop, but Sara was up on her tummy and plopped right over on her back.  I couldn't believe it, so I flipped her back over on her tummy, and she immediately turned right back over on her back.  I guess I can't leave her alone on the bed any more!

Finally -- some answers!

At the La Leche League meeting this morning, amazingly enough, the lactation consultant that I talked to on the phone the other day who was so helpful was the leader!  After the meeting, she looked at Sara and said she is most definitely tongue-tied.  She watched her latch on and also said that she should be sticking her tongue out when she latches, which Sara doesn't do at all and never has -- she actually kind of pulls her tongue back in.  She also confirmed that Sara seems to be chewing instead of sucking.  Anyway, she was very helpful and nice, and told me Sara is definitely a good candidate for clipping.  The only problem is that she doesn't know of anyone around here who does it.  That doesn't mean there isn't anyone, I'm just going to have to do some calling around.  But I feel like I've finally found an advocate in the professional world!  Hopefully I'll soon get to report that we've found someone to do it and all is well.  Maybe this will soon be all over...

Pediatrician

We went to the pediatrician yesterday to get Sara weighed.  That part was great -- she gained over a pound in 2 weeks!  So she's 8lb 13oz now.  Of course, that's getting some supplementing every day (2-4oz), so I still don't feel like the problem is solved.  The bad part was that they really only scheduled a weight check.  We didn't see a doctor, or even a nurse.  I told the girl who weighed her that I had been told by a lactation consultant that she had symptoms of tongue-tie, and I was wondering if any of the pediatricians there dealt with that.  She was really snooty and just said, "You'll just have to schedule another appointment for that."  Another appointment just to find out if they even handle that??  I don't think so.  These people have hardly been a bit of help the whole time, so I'm "shaking the dust off my feet" from that place; I don't plan to go back.

Today is the La Leche League meeting in Fayetteville.  Susan and I are going together, and I'm hoping that someone there can help point me in the right direction!  I'm sooooooo ready for some resolution to this!

EIGHT HOURS!!!

Sara and I went to see Dr. Sharma (my oral surgeon former employer) yesterday to see if she could be tongue-tied. He said that he usually only deals with the extreme cases, because simple cases are handled by the child's pediatrician, a pediatric dentist, or an ENT specialist. He also only does the surgery with general anesthesia, which is totally unnecessary for a baby like Sara. At her age, the frenulum is so thin that a simple clipping procedure -- with no pain-killer! -- is all that is required. Supposedly babies can nurse right away afterwards. SO, Dr. Sharma would not be doing any surgery on Sara, but he did say that though not extreme, her tongue does look tight. His recommendation was to just give her a bottle till she grows out of it, but now that I know this could be the problem, I'm going to ask her pediatrician about it today. In my mind, there is no reason to keep going through these feeding problems if it could be a simple fix.

On another note, as I've written before, most nights I give Sara a couple of ounces of formula because she sleeps so much better with a full belly. Well, last night, I decided I would see what happened if we didn't do any formula. She went to bed at 11:15, and now, at 7:35 -- over eight hours later! -- she's STILL ASLEEP!!!! No kidding! She did stir and whimper a few times in the night, but since she sleeps with me, I was able to cuddle her close and she fell right back asleep. It's hard not to get my hopes up that this will become a pattern. :-)

Recent pictures

Sara 2.5 months

Tongue-tied?

As I mentioned in my last post, we're wondering if Sara might be tongue-tied. As you can (sort of) see here, she definitely has a dip in her tongue when she sticks it out, a definite sign of being tongue-tied. We go see my former employer, Dr. Sharma (an oral surgeon), on Monday so he can see if this really is the culprit. I sure hope it's that simple!

3 Months Old

Sara is still having trouble nursing effectively, so we've been having to supplement with formuler.  Not something we wanted to do, but we don't feel bad about it since all effort has been made to avoid it.  Without it, she's in constant torments of hunger and frustration, which we're hoping will not leave a lasting impact on her.  The latest hypothesis is that Sara's tongue is too short to get a good latch, so Lauren is optimistic that there could be a quick fix.  If it doesn't work, I'm hoping we can get a dairy goat to keep in the back yard.

When she's not hungry or exhausted, she smiles a lot and loves to lie on her back on the floor and look around. 

Her favorite game so far is, "Wanna give mamma kisses??  Mua mua mua mua MUA!!"  She sure is cute.  

Still trudging along...

Last Tuesday we went back in for Sara's biweekly weight check. Eleven ounces in thirteen days! That's great, but it's still frustrating because it was with supplementing (pumped milk primarily). Sara evidently gains pretty well when I give her a bottle at least some. At night, I've even been giving her a couple of ounces of formula before bed because it makes the difference in her sleeping for 1-2 hours in a row and 5-7 hours! As anti-formula as I am/used to be, that's a no-brainer for me. Anyway, she's still having major problems with straight-up breastfeeding. She nurses for 40 minutes (that's as long as the lactation consultant said to let her go, after that it's burning more calories than she's getting), and then 15 minutes later, she's screaming and chewing her fist off. Jessica Ballinger thinks I should get her checked to see if she's tongue-tied. A lot of the "symptoms" are classic Sara -- losing suction easily, getting worn out quickly, lots of long pauses. So, I'm making an appointment with a pediatric dentist to get her evaluated. If so, it will be clipped, which supposedly is akin to getting your ears pierced -- they don't even anesthetize usually, and typically there is little or no blood. It's evidently a hereditary problem (which incidentally, Zack's brother had to have his tongue clipped). Anyway, I'll be so glad if it's that simple of a problem, because it supposedly makes all the difference in the world. On the flip side though, I'll be really irritated that the pediatrician, who has seen Sara 7+ times, and the lactation consultant didn't even look for it, even though it's an extremely common issue! Medical "professionals." Grrrrr....

Smiling Sara

It's a little long (about 3 minutes), but if you're patient, you'll get to see Sara's big smile!

Videos

Two Months Old!

Sara - 2 Months

Frustrations

We've been going into the doctor's every 2 weeks since she was born just because of her slow weight gain, and this last time (Wednesday) she only gained 4 oz in 2 weeks. So, the doctor has me pumping extra and offering her that after nursing, which even after a 40-minute nursing session, she'll gulp 3.5 oz like an African refugee baby! Of course, he initially wanted me to do formula, but I told him I'd rather pump, which he said was actually preferable to him too (so why didn't he recommend it in the first place?!?). He thinks that's why she's crying, because she's still hungry. I don't get it though, because she nurses all the time!!!!! Seriously, some days she nurses for 30 minutes, sleeps for 30 minutes (as I hold her), nurses 30, sleeps 30 -- all day long! I can't understand why she's not getting enough. The doctor said maybe it's that she is just a really inefficient nurser and doesn't get that hindmilk after the initial let down. I don't know what it is, but it's stressing me out big time! Zack stayed home from work Friday so that I could pump after each of her feedings, and he could help take care of her. He's so great -- I can't imagine doing this without him. Single girls really make it hard on themselves! There's a reason God says marriage first. Anyway, even after her feedings I can still get an ounce and half or so, which makes me wonder why she isn't emptying that out... AHHHHH!!! I'm so confused. I had NO IDEA breastfeeding could be so horribly hard. I really want it to work out, and for us to get it figured out so that I don't have to pump all the time, but can just nurse, but I'll do whatever I have to.

Chicken Legs

Sara has definitely gained some weight! Check out these pictures of her little legs. The first is from 3 weeks, and the second is from today, at 8 weeks.

The Good and the Bad

Because Sara has been slow to gain weight, we had to go in Wednesday for a weight check. The news was good and bad.

The good news is, she gained weight like a champ (even more than average)! She weighed 5lb 13.5oz last time, and that was 13 days before, so she needed to gain between 6.5 oz (1/2 oz/day) and 13 oz (1 oz/day). She actually gained more than an ounce per day -- 15 oz total! Ha :-) I'm so glad we didn't go ahead with the formula supplementation like he wanted us to. So, she's almost 7 lbs now (funny to think she's still smaller than I expected her to be at birth!!), and she also grew 1.5 inches.

The bad news is that I noticed a bulge in her groin area a couple of weeks ago, a soft bump that sticks out when she cries. When she's lying still, you can't see it. Anyway, I asked him about it, and he said it was an inguinal hernia and will require surgery. :-( I can't stand the thought of her getting put under and cut on, but if we don't do it, her intestines could get caught in the hole and "die" from lack of blood flow. She also has an umbilical hernia, which we already knew, and doesn't require surgery, but he said that they would probably fix it while they were there anyway, even though it would heal on its own in a year or so. It's not an emergency he said, I just have to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't show signs of strangulation (when the intestines get caught). He gave me the name of a surgeon in the area who does these, so I'm going to go ahead and take her for an initial visit, even if we put off surgery for a few months (the pediatrician said it probably wouldn't be necessary before 6 months, and maybe even later). Poor baby Sara!! At least it's fixable though (not a tumor or something like I feared!), and surprisingly common (about 1 in 20 babies have them). And it doesn't hurt her as far as I can tell, so that's good. I'm just not looking forward to the recovery!

Sara Smiles

First Smiles

Reflections

Sara is 6 weeks old today! In some ways, it's hard to believe it's been that long, and in some ways, it feels like twice as long. I certainly was unprepared for how difficult it would be! To be perfectly honest, the first 2 weeks were probably the toughest thing I've ever gone through, and there are still difficult days now and then. But it gets better and funner every day as Sara grows and becomes more like a baby. She's recently started making baby noises, the precursors to "baby talk." Her favorite place to lie and play is her changing table in the bathroom (why, I do not know -- maybe the fluorescent lights are warm??), and she'll lie there and look around, cooing at the lights and the mirror for a long time.

Another thing lately is that I've actually been able to put her down for naps. For the first few weeks I was having to hold her constantly, whether she was awake or asleep. However, Mom helped me figure out that if I'll put her on her belly (I know, the doctors say not to!), I can put her down when she's getting sleepy, and she'll sleep there for hours! This means I've actually gotten to cook dinner and do the dishes.


It's so amazing to watch her change and grow! This morning, she was giving me all kinds of smiles (and of course I got lots of pictures!). I'm looking forward to the next few months as her personality comes out more and more, and I get to know her better. I'm so grateful that the Lord enabled our family to let me stay home with her. I couldn't imagine passing her off to someone else every day.

Sara at one month

Sara - 1 month